My husband is out of town, which means I become lieutenant Mom and basically run the household like a well oiled battle field while putting our three children to bed alone. Wyatt is 7 and our twin girls, Everly and Dakota, are 4. As I crawl into bed after the fight of my life with Everly, who was in emotional despair, because I apparently didn’t kiss her right cheek 3 times like I did her left…insert eye roll. UGHHH!!! Then I crawl up our stairs and feel a sense of sadness that I got upset that my healthy, beautiful, baby girl wanted more kisses. Insert cry.
The dream is to have it all, right? That’s exactly what I’ve been shooting for through my twenties and well into my thirties. I know now, there will never be enough for me. My husband tells me this often. I have contemplated this through many battles with my husband after not understanding why things can’t be done right the first time or even done at all. Which is how I was raised. Literally, in my father’s business, posters hung everywhere with that exact quote. “Do it right the first time.” I honestly don’t think there is anything wrong with that. I have now started to realize I just need to take a different approach. I have a lot of people that depend on me. My husband, my children, my business partner, my large family and friends. So I feel as if I don’t do it right, I just simply won’t have TIME to do it ALL.
The Birth of Hair Bar
For as long as I can remember I have wanted to own my own salon. Be a hairstylist, but really, to own a salon. After my twenties and the whole “sewing my wild oats” phase, I started to do the checklist thing – husband, check, house, check, kids, check, and then this magical thing happened, I basically just “jumped” into the ride of my life. I’m saying it this way, because I’ve done a lot of talking about opening a salon, for years! But somewhere in the back of my mind, I really knew, how could this ever happen? I have too much riding on this. How would I have the time to do it all?
Well ladies, there IS never and WILL never be the right time to jump for your dream. Insert Dena Mielzarek. A friend. But that kind of friend that’s a fighter, a dreamer, and a lover, just like my kind of friend. I adore her. We did it together. With the help of my loving husband, Tyler, who had to be a single dad through the crazy four months that us two knuckleheads hashed out a plan, tore it down, built new and opened my 4th child and Dena’s baby. We adore it. Her name is Hair Bar.
Through this process there has been a lot of struggle with me and how I can balance it all. Well, I don’t. I slack in some areas one week and absolutely kick ass in an area the next week. Let’s be real, we all run late for things, we skip the kids brushing their teeth to save a quick five, we yell a lot and we try to hide it all. I could have my house in shambles and all I really want to do is sit on the couch, watch Pretty Woman, and eat chips and salsa…alone. I have a select few things in my life that make my life “sustainable.” The big one that I will mention is that damn dry shampoo, who in the hell invented this wonderful cocktail for our hair? R+Co Death Valley dry shampoo spray basically lives everywhere I am, it gets me through damn near a week with rockstar and smell good hair. Get where I am explaining “hiding it all?”
I’m lucky enough to have a wonderful business partner that seems to kick ass in the areas I slack at with work and sometimes even in my personal trials. My husband takes slack in the areas I’m lacking at home mostly. But let’s be real, he has to be asked to do it. Like 5 times. But I’m learning to ask. I do need help. I can’t physically do it all. I sure as hell wish I could and that I was as spunky as my 24 year old self. I try my hardest most days and those days I don’t and I feel like I have failed, well that’s okay. I actually don’t believe that last little part of that sentence. But one day I REALLY HOPE I WILL.
There is this other thing I’ve had to rely on. I never really thought about it before opening the salon, but we have to hope for the outside world. The world that supports a small little salon in a small area of Minnesota. Without other people it just wouldn’t be possible. We would close our doors. There is all this online shopping these days, which believe me, saves my ass on most occasions. We need each other, as individuals. We need the support all around us, in more ways that I think any of us can understand. Whether you are a nurse, bartender, stay at home superhero, or a teacher. Without the hope and support of the outside world, we simply just wouldn’t survive, well nourished. Whether it be to simply stop in to say hello, purchase a product, show support, spread the word, it ALL makes a difference.
Now to get back to having it all. I feel like in my heart of hearts, I do. Now I’m not talking the husband, the house, the kids, the salon anymore. I’ve come to realize that the teaching of wanting these things and working hard to get them has just shown my children that you DO IT. You don’t give up. On your family, your work, your friends. Doing it right the first time has just changed to my kind of right. Whether the counters in our house are perfectly clear, just the way I like them. Or the kids are dressed in what I want them to wear versus what they want to wear. Insert HUGE eye-roll. I am slowly finding a balance in this thing called “life.” I am still really working hard on keeping my kids feeling safe, my husband feeling loved and our business running well. But in all honesty, I hope I never stop working really hard at it. Because to be a parent, is to be a teacher. We can’t ever stop teaching. They are watching our. every. move.
For all you hard working warrior mommas we would love to offer you 20% off all products and free shipping over $50 at www.hairbarmn.com Phone and email orders accepted. Let us be your amazon!
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Guest Writer – Heather Olson